Heart touching lines

Parents cant do more then this-

Ghar ki bani desi ghee ki mithai aur paranthe lekar Maa Baap,

college mein padh rahe bete se milne uske hostle ja pahunche.

Unhe saade kapdo mein dekh kar ek ladki ne pucha-

"Hello Sweetu who are they"

Ladke ne kaha-"They are the servant from my village"

Maa Baap ki ankhon mein khushi ke aansoon aa gaye.

Pata hai kyun?

Yeh jaan kar ki,

'HAMARA BETA AB ENGLISH BOLNE LAG GAYA HAI'.

A cute luv story

a 20yr old boy gt a 16yr beutiful galz photo on d street side & he fell in luv wit dat gal.

his luv 2wards gal grew more n more

He started luvin

dat girl vry much bt he wasn't able 2 meet dat gal

Aftr long yrs his wife saw d photo&

askd"where did u get dz photo?"

he askd-"y?"

she said-"i lost it wen i was 16yrs".

True LOVE nvr fails.

Teacher student jokes

Madam-hanuman kiska chora tha.? Student- jaat ka. Madam- wo kaise?

Student- uske kaam e jaatan aale the, ladai kise or ki thi, puncchad apni fuke phire tha...

Veg jokes

KHATARNAAK DOSTI

Boy was late to reach home.

His father "kaha tha tu?"

boy- "Friend ke yahaa tha."

Father called his 10 friends.

4 answered:

"Haan uncle, yahi par tha"

3 answered:

"abhi just nikla hai"

2 answered:

"yahi hai uncle, Pad raha hai...phone du kya".?

1 ne to had kar di

He Answerd:

"Haan papa, bolo kya hua?"

HEIGHT OF COURAGE: senior student during ragging says: in your marrige i will kiss ur wife.

junior:fine bt i will marry ur sister.....

.

.

"le ab le le

Diff. B/w commerce & science que..

Comm:-wht is ur name ?? (10 marks)

Science:- wht is ur name & why? Give reason. Does it suit ur personality? Derive an expression for its alphabet? Criticaly exmine it? Define its principle and working? Explain it properly with the help of a labelled diagram? (2 marks)

Dr. to patient's frnd: Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isse bacha lete

Frnd:Abe aadhe ghanta pehle to accdent hua hai 1ghanta pehle kaise late?

I studied bt nvr topped, today toppers of bst Universities r my Employees.

(Bill Gates).

Bas...Yahi statement mujhe TOP

karne se ROK deta hai.

DATE SHEET aa gyi h, tayari shuru kr do.

7Feb- Rose Day

8 Feb-Propose Day

9Feb-Chochlate Day

10Feb-Teddy Day

11Feb-Promise Day

12Feb-Hug Day

13Feb-Kiss Day

14Feb-Valentine's Day.. 

Mahatma gandhi ne shadi se pehle kasturba gandhi ko love letter likha:

DEAR KASTURBA

JAAN I LOVE YOU

Tumhara

.

.

"*"BAPU"*"

Kaisa lagta h jab

Braste pani me

hawa k jhoko k sang

Khamoshi se chalte hue

Koi apka hath tham k haule se keh de..

Niche "GOBAR" h zara dhyan se..

Apni dosti koi PEPSI nhi jo dil mange more , NIRMA Nahi JO pahle Istmal kro fir viswash karo, APNI DOSTI TO L I C Hai , zindgi KE SATH B ZINDGI KE Bad B 

Height of FALTOO MSG-

Bus Stop Pe Log Bus Ke Intezar Me Khade The.

Faqeer aya, Sabse Bhik Li Aur

Taxi me Beithkr Chala Gaya

Great Man..!

Arz kiya hai ke "samundar me water,water me fish. aapko namste or aapki girl friend ko kiss. Mmmmmmuuuuuuuaaaaaahh." Maza aa gaya. Kal fir arz karunga...

Invigilator- why are you stressed? Did u forget ur ID? ur roll no.? Pen? Calculator?

Student-o chup kar ja... mai galat subject ke farre le aaya..:-;-):

( o.o)

(o.o )

( o.o)

(o.o )

( o.o)

Nigahe Aaj B Us Insan Ko Talash Kar Rahi H,Jisne Kaha Tha...

B.tech kr lo.. Bada scope h...!

Life while doin engineerin..

1st yr:

yahoo i'm in engg. collg!

2nd yr:

Kahan phas gaye?help me!

3rd yr: ahhh,soon it'll be over.

4rth yr:

yesss,i did it! i luv myslf!

Wait a min!

Smthng is missin

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ailaa!! Meri 'jawani'.. 

Hm diye pr hath rkh k ksm khate h ki Hm nxt sem se regulrly clases lgaenge

Prpr notes bnaynge,

Internal papers denge

O teri bhn di aankh!

DIYA HI BUJH GYA..!

Government of india ne aaj eknaya rule pass kiya hai! smart people ko personality tax pay karna padega aap to safe ho par mera kya hoga...?

A SAD LOVE STORY:

Ek student ko apni classfellw se pyaar ho gaya.

Ladke ne use perpose kiya lekin Ladki ne inkaar kar diya aur teacher ko uski complain kar di.Teacher ne kaafi daanta or ek week k liye class se nikal diya.

Jab ladka ek hafte baad wapis class me gya to ladki ko us se pyar ho gya.

Ladki ne uski kitaab me likha-

"I m sorry & i love u too."

Ladke ne koi response na diya.Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye.....

Moral:

LADKE KITAAB HI NHI KHOLTE...

Hame apki wo ada bhut pasand hai, jb aap aaine k samne khade hote ho aur aaine pr ek lota pani dal kr jor se chilate ho,

Nha liye..

ha ha ha

Nha liye..

DIL KO SABSE ZYADA DARD KAB HOTA HAI..

JAB AAP MOBILE CHARGING PR LAGA KR JAYE OR 2 GHANTE BAAD AAKAR DEKHE KI SWITCH BOARD PE BUTTON OFF THA...

Remix of ucha lamba kad-

Ek ucha lamba kutta, sadi gali vich suta, rati thand vich 'bau bau karda ni, oh padosiyo di kutti ute marda ni.... "baoo"baoo"baoo 

KABHI SOCHA HAI KE GARAM tawe pe " popcorns " kyun uchhalte hain ...

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Nahi pata na.? Kabhi khud baithna .. Pata chal jaayega.

Q.How to Kill an Ant?

asked in a xam.

For 8 marks.Btech Stdnt-Mix Chili Powder with Sugar & Keep it outside the Ant's Home.

After eatin Ant wil search for Water..!

Somewhere near a Water Tank.,Push Ant into it..!

Now Ant will go to dry herself near fire,

When It reachs near Fire.

Put a Bomb into Fire.

Then Admit wounded Ant in ICU, Remove Oxygen mask from Its Mouth & kill the Ant.

Humse panga%-)%-)

8 marks k liye hm khudko maar de, cheeti kya cheez

h

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha

Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya

Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi

Boy-Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte Hai

Auto me couple romance kr rahe the.Autowala dekh rha tha,Aage jaake auto pole se takra gya.Autowala sar patak k bola-Sala ab samjha"Titanic" Q duba tha

Couple film dekhne gae,

bachhe allow nhi the,

Bachhe ko basket me le gye

.

Guard:-isme kya h?

.

Cpl:-Lunch h.

.

Guard:-dhyan se le jao,

DAAL gir rhi hai.. 

2 machhar bike pr ghum rahe the .tabhi hathi ne lift mangi itne mein ek machhar khada hoke bola ,dekhle fir teri maa kahegi ki awara ladko k sath ghoom raha h.

Result agar achha ho toh:

Teacher- hoshiyar bachcha hai

Maa- bhagwaan ki kripa hai

Papa- beta kiska hai

DOST- chal daaru peete hain.

Result agar bura ho toh:

Teacher- padhai mein dhyaan hi nai tha

Maa- aag lage iss mobile ko.

Papa- laad pyar ne bigaad diya. DOST- Chal daaru peete hain.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Duniya badal jaati hai par DOST nahi badalte.

Dard-e-Dil Ki Koi Dawa Nahi Hai

Wah Wah

Dard-e-Dil Ki Koi Dawa Nahi Hai

ACP Says- Daya, Jaldi Niche Utar

Cycle Me Hawa Nahi Hai

Rajasthani aurat ne tej aa rhai bus ko roka

Driver:

kate jano h?

Aurat:

jano to kate hi koni,

bacho royi rio h,zara bus ko poo-poo bajai de

Dad: Wats ur result?

Son: I've failed in 5 subjects.

Dad: From now onwards dont call me Dad.

Son: Oh come on dad! Its my school test not a DNA test.

Mkanmalik: 500 rs.kiraya hoga kiraydar: thek h.pr apk mkan me to chuhe nach rhe h . Malik:to sale 500 me kya sheela nachegi.gd even

1 behra scooter khich k leja raha tha.2nd behra-Kya hua Petrol khatm ho gya kya?1st-Nhi yar, Petrol khatm ho gya.2nd-Acha, mujhe laga Petrol khatm ho GAYA...!

double meaning jokes

Ladki jungle se guzar rahi thi,

Achanak saamne se cheeta aa gaya.

Cheeta:- open your t-shirt.

Ladki:- why?

Cheeta:- TV nahi dekhti kya?

''Cheeta bhi peeta hai!

Preganant aurat ko dekh kar 1 ladki boli lagta hai

Makaan ban gaya hai

Kirayedar b aa gaya hai

Preganant lady jal ke boli

Mazdur khali hai tere ghar bhej du..

Aaj Ki College Girls Bahut Romantic H

Photocopy Ki Dukan Pe Ja K Bolti H-

Bhaiya Jaldi Aage Piche Se DO-DO Baar Kar Do, Period Shuru Na Ho Jaye

Andha Sasur-

Bahu-o-Bahu,Ye Lo Laddu,

Bahu Naha Rhi Thi,Socha Sasur to Andha Hai,Bina Kapde k Bahar Aakar Boli-Ye Kis Khushi Me,

Sasur-Meri Aankhe Theek Ho Gyi.

Ek ladka apni gf k liye chudiyan le k jata hai.

Gf: khud hi pahna do.

Boy: mujhe kya pata tha ki itna accha responce milega. Warna m kapde le k aata.

Ek pyaj ki shaadi Pattagobhi ke saath huyi,

agle subhah dosto ne puchha-"Suhaag raat kaisi rahi."

Pyaj bola-"Are ek-dusre ko kholte-kholte hi subah ho gayi.

BETA:bapu meri teacher ekdum maal hai na

BAP:Beta techr MAA k jaisi hoti hai

BETA:Aap to hamesha apne hi jugaad me rehte ho !!!!

Boy & Grl kiss kr rhe the

Tabhi papa ki Call Aayi-Kahan Ho?

Grl-Ji Practical Kar Rhi Hu

Papa-Itna Bhi Na kariyo K exam Se PahLe result hi aa Jaye..;-)

Chora 1 chori n dekh k bola- or gndase k haal s.

Chori b ghni ksuti thi boli- dhedh ke beez, is gndase m tera jija roz nyar kaate se,

for sms jokes

a frnd is sweet...

when it is new,

it is sweeter...

when it is true.

bt it is d sweetest...

when it is you.

True line in real life

Jab hum 1 hi mazak ko lekar bar bar hus nahi sakte

to

hum 1 hi gum lekar bar bar bar kyou rote rahe..?

So keep smiling always. 

jokes on sardar and santa banta

1. Sardar Ne Doston ke sath Party Ka Program Banaya,

Aur Apne hi Ghar Se Raat Ko Bakra Chori Kia, Aur Khoob Dawat Ki. Subah Jab Ghar Pahucha To waha bakra tha, Usne Bivi Se Poocha Bakra Kahan Se Aya?

Bivi: Bakre Ko maro Goli. Ye Batao Raat Ko Tum Choron Ki Tarha KUTTE Ko Kahan Le Kar Gaye The??

Santa= sir humne ek aisi cheez banayi h jisse hm diwar k us paar ka b dekh sakte h.

Sir= wow, fantastic,kya h wo

Santa= Suraakh.! 

Santa: Ise mahine maine bahut Shopping ki,

Car,Laptop,Iphone,

Banta : yaar Tumhare papa ka Bussiness kya h ??

Santa : Wo pyaaz bhechte hai..!

Election me santa ka chinh tha chaarpai.Wo ghar-ghar ja kar vote mangta tha Lekin 1 din wo bahut pitaa !!Usne 1 lady se kaha"Bhabhi ji charpaai pe hi dena.

Sardar ka ladka- papa ye car k peeche 'L' kyu likha hota hai.

Sardar- iska matlab driver ko driving k baare me 'Lund' b nai pata.

Santa-Angrejo ne CHAAND ke upar PANI aur BARAF ki khoj kar li H

Bnta-yani humney ab sirf

DAARU aur namkeen leke jana H

adult jokes

1.Ladki ke inkar karne par Miya Galib ne ek masoom si Ghazal kuch is tarah pesh ki....

Yun humko satane ki zarurat kya thi,

Aur GAND meri jalane ki zarurat kya thi,

Jo nahi tha Ishq Mujhse to keh dia hota,

Apni MA CHUDANE ki zarurat kya thi,

Maloom tha agar ye khuwab toot jayega,

to Neend me aa ke CHUT dikhane ki zarurat kya thi,

Maan bhi loon agar ye ek tarfa mohabbat thi,

To Mujhe dekh kar BEHAN KI LODI muskurane ki jarurat kya thi.. . .

2.PATIALA ki 2 baatein famous hain.

1. Patiala Peg.

2. Patiala Salwaar.

Dono me fark sirf itna hai ki ek chadhne par maza deti hai, to Dusri utarne par...

3.1 pagal roz yehi kehta-Guler banaunga, KABUTAR marunga.

6 mahine pagalkhane me treatment k bad

jate waqt

Dr. ne pucha-Ab kya karoge?

Shadi

Fir?

suhagrat

Gud,Fir?

Uski sari utarunga

Fir?

Blouse utarunga

Oho!Fir?

Bra utarunga

My god,Fir?

Fir kya!

Bra k elastic se

GULER BANAUNGA AUR KABUTAR MARUNGA...! 

4.Ek ladki ka figure:

20 20 20 Dekh k GHALIB ne Arz kiya

"Na Gand hai na seena

"Na Gand hai na seena 

5.Couple in train..

Girl: My head is paining..

Boy kised her head

Girl: My neck is paining..

Boy kised neck

1 Oldman: Beta, loose motions ka b ilaaj krte ho kya?

6.Why is salman khan disturbed these dayz ...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Coz.....

.

.

.

.

.

.

Uski girlfrnd jawan ho gayi hai aur bhabhi badnam ..

7. Aurat Dusri Aurat se- KYA TUM SEX KARTE WAQT APNE PATI SE BAT KARTI HO? She Replied- "AGAR UNKA PHONE AATA HAI TOH KAR LETI HU,Aakhir PATI hai wo mere.

8.Sexy Grl goes 2 D Doc with Mom.

Grl :Check-up karana hai.

Doc :Sare kapde utar kar parde ke pichhe ajao.

Grl :Mera nahi mumy ka.

Doc:Mataji jeebh bahar nikalo..

9.Hathi camel se:- Ye bhagwan ne tujhe boobs peeth par kyo diye hain.?

Camel:- Jaa be bhosdike jinke chehre par Lund latakta hai mai usse baat nahi karta....!?!

10.Patni (Gusse me)- Mai ye ghar chhod ke ja rhi hu. Pati- Jana hai to jaldi ja warna gand maar lunga. Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi meethi baatein jane nhi deti..

11.Husband Aur Wife Me Bhyank Jhagra Hogya. Husband Ghusse Say Chilaya: Gaand Phaar DUnga.Wife Boli:Agay Ki To Sochte Nahi,Bus Piche pde rhte ho.

12.Man & LADY started sx in a dark forest, aftr 15min.

Man -"agr torch hoti to mja aa jata".

lady- "mujhe bhi, Qki 15m se tum ghas hi chaat rhe ho."

13.Sadhu Fati Dhoti Pehen K Mandir Me Puja K Liye Jhuka

1Admi Ne GAND Ko Gulak Samaj K 1Sikka Dal Diya

Sadhu Palat K Bola

Ghanti B Bjale MADARCHOD

14.Girlfrnd: ye purse pakdo me abhi aayi. Sardar ne khola usme se rubber ka lund nikla

Gf: Khola to nahi?

Sardar: na ji, purse khol ke gand thodi marwaani he.

15.Pandit ka Tota roz 1 admi ko dekta or bolta

AUR Bhan ke lode

Us admi ne pandit se shikayat ki to pandit ne tote ko daanta...

agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola.

Thoda age ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola ..

''SAMAJ TO TU GAYA HI HOGA'"

16.Ek Rape Case Altaf Bhai k Area mein ho gaya.

Altaf Bhai ne Ladke se Poocha Kya kiya tha tumne ?

Boy - Ladki ne khud apne Ghar Bulaya, Main nahi jaa raha tha, Maine Socha Altaf Bhai k Area hai.

Usne apne Kapde uttaare or Kiss karne lagi, Maine socha Altaf Bhai k Area hai.

Usne Taange uppar uthaai, Maine phir Socha Altaf Bhai ka area hai.

Altaf BHAI (Ghusse mein) - Altaf Bhai ki Maa ki Chut, Aage kya hua ?

Boy - Bhai maine bhi yahi Socha or DAAL DIYA.

17.BIWI ko dost ke sath bed per dekh Pati ne dost ko goli maar di. Biwi boli apne gusse ko kabu karo, varna 1 din sabhi dosto se hath dho baithoge....

18.Lady 2 Dr: Thakaan bahut hoti h.

Dr: Sex kitna krti ho.

Ldy: Daily.

Dr: Sunday ko Mat karo.

Ldy: Hey Ram, Sundy ko hi to PATI Ghar hote h, Unhe kaise mana karu.

19.Doctor Mareej ke piche bhag raha tha.. LOG : kya hua..? DOCTOR : 4 Bar aisa hua...MADAR CHOD nasbandi karane aata hai...

BAAL saaf karvake bhag jata hai...

20.Malkin ki 3 panty kho gai to usne apni naukrani pe ilzaam lagaya.To naukrani ro ro k boli saab aap kuch boliye na aap ko to pata hai me niche kuch nahi pehnti. 

21.Bacha kutta kutti ko sex krte dkhta hai aur apne papa se kehta hai.

KID:"PAPA kutta kya kar raha hai?"

Papa:"beta, kutta kutti ko kuch samjha raha hai"

Kid:"par ismain gaand marne ki kya zarurat hai??"

22.Vakil-Behnji us raat Kya Hua Tha?

1st usne Muje Giraya

Fir behnji

Fir Blous Fada

Fr Behnji

Fr Petikot Fada

Fr Behnji

Fir Apki Behn Chud gyi vkil shab.ha

23.Sachche Dost ki 3 nishani.

Ek to Bhosdika kabhi phone nahi karega.

Dusra - Har kaam ke liye haan bolega lekin sala gandu ek din ka kaam dus din mein bhi nahi karega.

Aur teesra,

Ladkiyo ko senti wale sms bhejega aur hume Lauda-Lasun, Choot, bhosda wale sms bhejega.

24.Girl : mai radio ki tarah hu mera 1 nipple tunning hai aur 1 volume

Boy:mai to dono daba raha hu aawaj to nahi aa rahi

Girl : neche cell kya tera baap dalega..

25.Sex ki lagi lagan,Ladki hogaye nagan.

Wo to gali-gali lahnga uthane lagi,

Koi roke use, koi toke use,

Wo to karo-karo chillane lagi

-

26.DUSSASAN kaun tha?

Student:-Chutiya tha.

Teacher:- wo kayse?

Student:- Jitna time woh sari khichane me lagaya, sari utha bhi to sakta tha-

27.Teacher class mein apne baby ko d00dh pilate hue boli:

Ale ale mela beta d00dh p k doctor banega.

Pappu: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compunder hi ban jayenge

28.1girl to another: kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se maar raha tha!

2girl: Tu dar mat, agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roz abortion karvana padta

29.Arz hai--Jis din unse diL laga baithe

Tanhai me sukoon ki maa chuda baithe

Wo to kho gayi duniya ki bheed me

Aur hum apne hi jhant me aag laga baithe...

30.

LADKI:CONDOM Dena

DUKANDAR MastiMe: Kis Liye?

LADKI : Tere BAAP Ko GIFT Dungi, Taki Tere Jaisa Dusra CHUTIYA Paida Na Ho

31.

Saas: "Bahu, bura mat manana, lekin mere pote ki shakal mere bete se nahi milti."

Bahu: "Maa ji, meri taangon ke beech choot lagi hai, photocopy machin nahi.

32.

TU dost h mera

Tujh pe jaan waar dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to teri Gaand mar dunga

Tu dikhta hai accha

Tu likhta h accha

Tu padhta h accha

Tu ladta h accha

Tujh se jo panga lega

Uski men phaad dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to teri Gaand mar dunga

Tu maang le jaan

Tu maang le aan

Ladki ka number ho

Ya randi ki gaand

Tere liye sab tere dar pe utar dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to . . . !

hans mt bhosadi k teri gand mar dunga....

 40.

Arz kiya h..

Wah wah....

Bosdi k pehle sun to le..

To arz kiya h...

10 rupye k 12 kele.

10 rupye k 12 kele.

1-1 karke gand me lele. AB BOLE WA WA